How do you give good head??

Asked by Anonymous

Alright since I get this question so often, I asked a good friend of mine to write a guide for y’all


So you wanna learn how to blow a dude, huh? Rest easy honey. It isn’t nearly as hard as you might think.

I gave my first blow job many years ago and I too was terrified at what it might entail. What does sperm taste like? What do men do when they cum? What will I do when they cum? Should I spit or swallow? What do I do with this thing? (answers: fine, a variety of things, move faster, swallow, touch it) I didn’t know the answer to any of these questions at the time and I was too embarrassed to ask my high school boyfriend so I did what any self respecting teenager does- I googled it. Unfortunately googling “how to give a bomb blow job” turns up a ton of results. Some are helpful and some aren’t. Some are bullshit. Cosmo will tell you to bobble your head around in a figure eight motion like a dumbass. They’ll also tell you to tie your hair up with a thong. Don’t listen to Cosmo (that’s just generally good life advice).

So here we go gals (or dudes no judgement): Angela’s Guide to Home-run Head; Abridged.

Please note: Men, like all humans, are unique. My technique is generally foolproof (aka has never not worked) but I can’t promise it’ll totally rock your guy’s socks. I recommend whispering something in a sexy voice like “tell me what you want baby, I want to please you/make you cum/make you moan” before you get down on your knees because it’ll encourage feedback from him. Don’t take any guidance from your man personally- they aren’t saying you give terrible head. I used to be really offended when guys would tell me to do something differently and now I know that doesn’t make any sense because if they didn’t like the way I fuck them their only options are 1. to tell me, or 2. to dump me and I definitely prefer option 1.

So the first thing to keep in mind is that even if you feel more comfortable in your clothes it is, as a rule of thumb, better if you just take them off. Boys love boobies and no matter who you are you’ve got a great set (also applies to men blowing men. Replace ‘boobies’ with ‘pecs or abs.’ Let them enjoy your body while you enjoy theirs. I think that keeping clothes on during sex communicates insecurity and/or a power imbalance (in some situations). So my advice to you is unless you’re in a car/school auditorium/your bedroom door that doesn’t have a lock on it cause your mom isn’t really comfortable with you having a boy in there anyway that you take your clothes off.

Your first (from here on when I say your first I also mean “one of your firsts” or “part of a series of experiments”) blowjob will probably (and should probably) begin with you two making out. There will be some heavy petting, heavy breathing, etc etc and your guy will (probably) get a boner. That is your starting point. The boner. Stroke it through his pants. Let him take off your shirt. Get naked together. This sort of thing always progresses naturally so I don’t feel the need to walk you through it. If you get him naked or he gets naked or you go to unzip his pants and he isn’t hard (or is only sort of hard) then, in my opinion, you’re kinda lucky: putting his dick in your mouth is almost certainly going to get him fully erect and its actually pretty neat to feel a dick growing in your mouth.

You can give head while your guy is standing, sitting, or laying down in bed. My favorite way is when they’re laying down; I like kneeling on a mattress, I like that they’re super comfortable, and I like the view of his body (sometimes with standing/sitting you’re just staring at a happy trail). The choice is up to you (more advanced options would include you lying on your back with your head hanging over the side of the bed while he fucks your face but that’s not really beginner level shit and if you’re reading this I’m going baby steps). If you’re giving a clothed blowjob (cause sometimes you just ARE) or you’re undressing your man a word of advice: slip your hand down the front of his pants and hold your palm against the zipper from the inside as you unzip his pants. Getting pubes or foreskin caught in the zipper is going to ruin your magical blowjob and this trick always works to protect your guy.

So now the dick is out. Maybe he’s naked. Maybe you’re both naked. Maybe you’re just naked. The point is you’ve made out, you’ve set the mood, you’ve got him hard, you’re in your preferred position, and you’re ready to get started. If things are really hot and heavy you can totally jump right into it and put his whole dick in your mouth if you want. If that’s what you want to do then just be patient with me because I’m going to advise the slow pokes for a little bit. To start hold his dick at the base with your dominant hand. Don’t squeeze his cock too hard. Your hand is only there for guidance. If you didn’t hold his dick it’d just flop around and make your job super difficult. Hold it at an angle that makes the entire cock accessible to you and under your control. There is absolutely no reason to feel nervous because this is your show. This is a great time to talk a little dirty to your man. Tell him how sexy he looks and how you can’t wait to taste him. Put your mouth super close to his dick so he can feel you breathing on him. Exaggerate your breathing. Moan or whimper a little bit. Put on a show. Let him know in your sexiest voice that you want to make him cum.

I like to start with a few long licks up the shaft. Start at the base where his dick meets his body and using the entire length of your tongue (not just the tip) lick from the bottom to where his head (the bulbous part of the penis) meets the shaft. The head is the most sensitive part of the penis so since you’re just teasing give him a few licks without engulfing/touching the head too much. Be slow and deliberate. I find somewhere in the neighborhood of 6-12 is good although you can judge the situation for yourself. I don’t advise counting strictly or obsessing (should I do eight or nine shaft licks?!) too much. Just enjoy yourself a read his body language. Another note: while teasing or at any point during the blowjob your man might put his hands on your head to control the speed or force himself deeper. If you’re a little naturally submissive you might think this is hot. If you’re not (or just not in the mood) this might scare you, make you uncomfortable, or piss you off a little. Any reaction is acceptable and you have to right away tell him not to do that. You can keep it sexy by being firm in a dominatrix kinda way like “if you touch me again you don’t get to cum in my mouth- I want to fuck you the way I want to fuck you.” Most dudes I’ve said this to love giving up that control. If he keeps trying to fuck your face when you don’t want him to then stop giving him head. You never, at any point, have to feel like you’re not in control and your first blowjob could become a really upsetting experience for you because you were ashamed to speak up. Don’t be ashamed to speak up.

After the licks you can give some attention to the head. I like to put my mouth around it without closing my mouth. Think of the way you wrap your hand around a lighter to protect the flame from going out. Do that, but with your mouth around the top of his dick. Just breathe on his head. You’ll probably feel him strain a little bit or whimper. That’s because the head of his dick is the same as your clitoris. When its engorged with blood it is super sensitive and wants that stimulation. You’re breathing on him and just barely avoiding the head because the longer you wait the better it is going to feel when you finally close your mouth around him. Tease him like this. You can alternate between stroking his shaft with your hand (spit in your hand first for lubrication), long licks, fondling his balls, and almost sucking the head of his cock.

Here’s where you speed demons can jump back in.

Now for the good stuff. Think about your mouth. Run your tongue along your cheeks and teeth. If you’re concerned about your teeth don’t worry too much. You’ll naturally curl your lips around your teeth. If you give head for a super long time your teeth might actually cut into your lip (happens to me all the time) and be sore for a while afterwards. Do not worry this will go away. Anyway- feel the inside of your mouth (right now while you read this I mean). Suck on one of your own fingers and focus on sucking your cheeks in and forcing your tongue upwards so that you are totally enveloping your finger. See how that feels? Your finger is now cradled on all sides by your mouth. I bet your mouth feels hot and velvety. Swirl your tongue around the tip of your finger. Nice, huh? THAT’S what you want to do with the penis. When you’re ready after teasing him move your mouth as far down his cock as you can go and the close your mouth on him and draw back upwards sucking on him exactly the same way you’d suck on a fudgesicle (sorry- they’re my favorite). The deeper his dick gets in your mouth the more you’ll salivate.

Don’t be afraid to get a little gross. Get him really deep in your mouth so you’ll produce more spit. Remember- the wetter your blowjob is the better. Friction doesn’t feel so great and the penis is sensitive. Do not be afraid to drool or be ashamed if your spit gets really thick. Watch some blowjob porn- I’m fairly sure this is generally considered hot. Plus it means you don’t give a fuck about how you look because you’re so into sucking cock. That’s also hot. Move your mouth up and down; this is your motion for a while. Still using your hand to guide his cock focus on closing your mouth along the length of him while you move your head up and down on his dick. Focus on putting most of your power behind your tongue. When you get to his head swirl the entire length of your tongue around the tip of his dick. Remember your tongue isn’t disembodied so for variety you can tilt your head or hunch your body strangely to stimulate different parts of his dick with your mouth. Once again think of eating a popsicle and how you need to really lick all sides or it’ll melt unevenly. Only since you can’t rotate the popsicle you have to rotate your body/head.

Now you might be getting tired. “How do people do this?” you think. Good news: I have never given an unassisted blowjob to completion and you don’t have to either. By assistance I am referring to your hand. Your hand was built for jacking dudes off. You’ll be a pro. Basically after you get tired or bored you use your hand to, essentially, jack him off in your mouth. It works like this: you’ve been sucking dick for a while and you want to kick up the speed and help him finish but your mouth is super tired/crampy/sore so you just start moving your hand up and down directly following/preceding your mouth. If you’ve been drooling all over his cock like I told you too you’ll have plenty of lube for this. You can also put on a show and spit on his cock or let that long string of spit dangle from your mouth to the head of his dick. You’re basically stroking his shaft while you baby the head of his cock with your mouth. You should establish a rhythm pretty quickly and naturally. It will probably be swirling your tongue around the head of his cock and very top of his shaft- one rotation of your tongue per movement up and down of your hand. Some guys will find the head of their cock is too sensitive for this so you can back away a little and use a lighter touch of the tongue. His hips and vocal indicators will help you figure out what speed you need to be going at.

THE BALLS. Totally forgot. Let me just say at any point during a blowjob it is encouraged and acceptable to use your non dominant hand to fondle your man’s testicles. Handle them gently- they are sensitive. I usually cup and kneed lightly but you can also gently pull because some dudes are into that. Also slightly more advanced: you can put a (well lubricated) finger in your man’s butthole to stimulate the prostate (I recommend discussing that beforehand). You can also lick/suck on the balls. they are unsightly, sure, but they taste the same as cock and aren’t gross.

If you’re followed my directions your guy will be getting close to cumming. Tell him before you guys get too far what you’d prefer to do so you don’t end up unprepared with a mouth full of cum. When he tells you he’s going to cum you actually have three options (inform him of your choice before you go down on him or before you start taking him to the point of no return):

1. Take your mouth off his dick and jerk him off onto his stomach/your face/your tits. A variation is when he says he’s about to cum stop sucking his cock and let him jerk himself off the last five-ten seconds onto your face, into your mouth, onto the floor…whatever. Some guys really like to cum on your face. I don’t get it but I don’t mind it either. Close your eyes because cum will get in your eyes and it hurts.

2. Spit. I personally hate spitting. Cum isn’t gross but it will feel gross if you swish it around in your mouth for a few seconds waiting to spit it out. Its already in there girl you might as well just swallow it. But I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. If you want to spit then spit. When he cums you want to get him as deep as you can though because he’s going to want to thrust in and hold his cock there. You won’t still be rapidly moving while he’s coming. His cock will be too sensitive. Make sure you have a cup readily available so you don’t just spit cum on your sheets.

3. Swallow. Listen. When a guy cums in your mouth if you just take him as deep as you can and start swallowing (the same way you swallow when you’re chugging say, a beer) you don’t even taste the cum. it is really a non issue. Don’t hold it in your mouth. Don’t be afraid of cum or grossed out by it. Get into it! It is so sexy and intimate to love every part of the sexual experience you share with your partner. Seriously it makes everything so much better.

After he cums don’t over stimulate him. In fact, don’t really handle his cock any more for a little while. Let him breathe. Have a towel handy though in case he’s covered in cum or spit. Hand it to him. Kiss him deeply (in my opinion if your dude won’t give you a full mouth deep tongue kiss after you’ve gargled his cum then he’s kind of an asshole. you do not have to agree). Snuggle him. Or high five him. Look at you. Welcome to the club. You are a blowjob queen.

I knew you could do it.